Monday, August 2, 2010

Fun fathers day pictures and 1 year pictures

I am so lucky to have 2 amazingly talented women related to med who have done pictures of Mckade. They have captured his personality and everything that I want to remember about this time. Here is a sample of some of these pictures.

These first ones were done my my sister in law Janis who has done many pictures for us and I just love everything that she has done. It helps that McKade is usually cooperative during these photo shoots and we always have so much fun.




I absolutely love his facial expression in this picture, it's hilarious.

He looks like a little boy and not a 1 year old, too sad but so fun.


These pictures were done as a fathers day suprise for Paul by his cousin Amber Goddard, she is super talented also and we had a blast doing these. McKade did get a little distracted with the rocks around and we had a hard time keeping his attention away from the rocks around to play with. He tried several times to eat them.

Seriously can he get any cuter (I know I'm prejudiced but really.....)


There he is with his silly rock, this picture was the one we used for his birthday invitations.


This little guy has the funniest facial expressions and often has the biggest cheeser grin on his face.

Amber and her sister have taken up knitting and have made the most adorable hats that they use in picture shoots. Very talented girls those two.







Saying goodbye to a wonderful man

On June 6th my dad was admitted to the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia that had hit him pretty hard just the day before, 2 weeks later he passed away on June 21st from complications from the pneumonia and AML (acute myelogenous leukemia.) These 2 weeks were such a blur and to tell you the truth I don't know where June even went this year. As anyone who has lost a love one rather suddenly it doesn't sink in for awhile that they are really gone and you just went through what you had. Even now writing this over 1 month later I can't believe how our lives have changed in such a short amount of time. When my dad got sick we didn't know he had leukemia but when he was admitted his labs were all abnormal which led them to do a bone marrow biopsy within 12 hours of admission and that Thursday we found out that he had AML which is a very aggressive form of leukemia. The treatment plan, if he was able to fight the pneumonia would have been for a bone marrow transplant to treat an underlying condition that makes the bone marrow function abnormally and which was what he had that was left untreated and unnoticed that then converted to leukemia. He fought hard and put up with so much in those 2 weeks that I wouldn't wish on my enemy and in the end his pneumonia won because his immune system just couldn't keep up and fight like it could have had he not had the leukemia. The nurses and doctors at both Utah Valley and LDS hospital where he passed away were great, they were so compassionate and caring and I'm so proud to be a nurse after seeing how caring they were to my father as he was dying.

The angering thing about this is that he didn't deserve this, not like anyone does but it just isn't fair to see such a kind and patient man being dealt these cards when there are sooo many bad people in the world that this could have happened to. I guess it's all part of the plan even though we don't understand it right now. I've learned how important it is to make sure those around you know how much they mean to you and how much you love them because you never know when they might be gone. I know my dad knew that he was loved and appreciated and I know that he is in heaven right know playing with the grandkids still waiting to be born and making sure they know all about guns, hunting and fishing. I do regret that McKade won't grow up with my dad in his life because my grandparents have played such an important part in my life and I'm sad he will miss that from my dad.

I know time will heal the pain but it will never completely go away. Our family has been shown so much support and compassion during this all and we are truly grateful for everyones thoughts and prayers during this time.

This was taken last year on fathers day when we came home from the hospital after having McKade, exactly 1 year prior to my fathers passing. All of us kids went to LDS hospital on the 20th (fathers day) and were able to spend time with dad and say our goodbyes when it became evident that he wasn't going to get better and he passed away early in the morning of the 21st. What a more fitting way to spend fathers day.

When we blessed McKade me and Paul had a hard time deciding who to ask to do the honors. Paul wanted to have his brother or brother in law to do it but I was adament that my dad give the blessing, in the end my father was able to bless McKade and I'm so grateful to have this memory and he did such a great job.

If you could say one thing about my dad it is that he loves his family, especially his grandkids. He was always like a big teddy bear around them and would do absolutely anything for any of us. He will be missed so much.

We burried dad in Malad, ID where he was born, it's so pretty there and he's burried by his parents. My mother felt like this was fitting and that he would have wanted to be there instead of in Orem. He also had said a couple times that he wanted to just be burried in a "pine box", I don't think the fancy, beautiful pine box my mother chose was exactly what he had in mind but it was a "pine box" even if a more expensive one than he had visioned. This picture is at the graveside and the man there is his best friend Jim, he and my dad's brother were able to be at the hospital that last day and they were able to give my dad a wonderful blessing, I'm so glad they were able to be there. I know Jim will miss my dad, they had been friends since college.



Kirk played a beautiful song on his guitar that he wrote at the graveside and he did a great job. I know my dad appreciated this.

If you knew my dad you would understand this because of his sense of humor. Another thing he had told us was that when he died that we had to put a bumper sticker that said "I'd rather be breathing" on his coffin. We had this made at the mall before his funeral and when we told the person at the store what it was for he looked at us and said "I don't want to laugh but that is the funniest thing I have heard". It was funny and fitting and I know dad was laughing right along with everyone at the graveside.

This has been hard to blog about but also good, I think I have procrastinated doing this but feel better getting some thoughts down and remembering good times we have all had with our father. He was a wonderful man and we all miss him so much but I am grateful and thankful for the times we did have with him and can't wait to see him again someday.







June 19, 2010: McKade's 1st birthday

I know every mother says it but it's so true, I can't believe that 1 year has past since this little man came into our lives. We have had so much fun this past year and feel so blessed that he is ours, he keeps us laughing every day and is still such a little, mellow boy who goes with the flow. He has always been so good natured so I hope he stays this way when he hits the "terrible twos". In the midst of my father being sick we still planned a birthday party, we missed my parents being there because they had planned on coming down for the weekend and we were going to take them out to eat at the new restaurant that Paul finished remodeling not too long ago. Anyways plans change and they weren't able to make it given the circumstances but we still had a good time. We had a party for friends and family at the park, ate good food (pizza-ok it was the easiest), cake and fun times for all. McKade was a little hesitant at first with the cake like he wasn't sure what to do with it but once we gave him time he went to town. He would get a handfull and drop it off the highchair and finally started to try to eat it without his hands and just his mouth. Such a fun thing to watch and glad we were outside because it made clean up sooo much easier.

"Hmmmmm........what to do, what to do....... I think I'll just eat it like this"


"This icing is pretty good", it ended up pretty much everywhere but that's the fun of the first birthday party and their very own smash cake.

He was spoiled with lots of toys and had plenty of help opening his gifts with cousins and friends there to help out. He was still enthralled with the paper and ribbons, such amazing stuff to little kids, who needs the toys inside of all that paper.

The theme was a puppy party because currently his obsession is dogs and is constantly calling out for da (dogs, Daisy our dog) and will pant. On the fourth of July he was just waking up and was talking in his sleep (we learned this when we shared a room with him recently that he talks in his sleep and must be dreaming about dogs because he will mutter "da!" and pant like a dog), anyways the morning of the fourth he was waking up and heard dogs outside barking and clear as day said "daisy", it was too wierd to hear an actual 2 syllable word come out of such a little mouth and ever since it's been "daisy" everything. We have realized that we must tell Daisy to be quiet too much because now he will say "daisy" or "da" and than hold his finger to his mouth and shush it. He will do this to any animal he sees lately, I need to get it on video because it's pretty funny.
Mckade's 1 year physical went well despite him being a shrimp for his age. He only weighed 16 lbs 13 oz and 29 inches long, doctor said to just continue to feed him like we are and come back in September to have his weight checked and will see how he is then. He isn't walking yet but is walking along anything he can hold on to and will push his little car or train around walking behind it. When we try to get him to stand he will balance pretty good sometimes but will start to laugh and slowly lower himself to the floor, I don't know what is so funny to him about standing up on his own but he's a little stinker. After he does this we will often try again and he won't even straighten his legs to attempt to stand. Oh well, soon enough he will be walking/running and we will really have our hands full so in it's own time. I've decided that he will just talk first, this last month he has really started to imitate anything we say and seems to pick up language rather quickly. In the week he started to say "daisy", he learned "Ashy" for my sister Ashley (first name by the way besided mama and dada), hot and associated this word with the stove and bbq (smart little shit I think), "that" and will point at what he wants and some times "see that" (of course this is in baby talk but it's pretty clear that's what he is saying). The other day he was pointing and saying "that" to Paul's cell phone so Paul gave him the TV remote because he will play like this is a phone sometimes but not this time, he promptly put the remote down et insistently continued saying "that" pointing at the phone. Sometimes it's scary to see how smart he can be at such a young age, absolutely amazing watching his little brain learn. Well that's pretty much all that's new with our wonderful boy up until now. We love him to death and can't wait to see what the next year brings.